In which a Better Zample is called for
And Things are Forgotten
Yesterday I promised a January 4 chronicle that built on January 3 like Lord of the Rings builds on The Hobbit. I was reminded, though, that there were better examples readily available that I missed.
“It’s like this,” said Rabbit, “you might have asked me. Or any of my Friends and Relations. We would have helped you, you know.”
“It’s just like always,” moped Eeyore. “Nobody stops by. Nobody visits. Nobody says ‘Good Morning, Eeyore,’ or ‘Have a lovely day, Eeyore.’ Nobody asks me ‘what should I mention instead of those stories full of bad chaps and evil magicians.’”
“Around here there are no bad chaps or magicians,” said Owl wisely. “We only have to watch for heffalumps and woozles,” he added.
“Your heffalump, of course, is higher up in the air than your woozle, owing to its longer legs. That’s why my great uncle Chester always said ‘in our family, we are more concerned with heffalumps than woozles.’ It’s because of our wings, you understand.” Owl opened his wings and fluffed his feathers to show what he meant.
Along stumped Pooh. “Hullo, everyone,” he said. “Is there something happening?” said he. “Is there something I ought to do?” he said. “Oh,” added Pooh, “Good morning Eeyore. I hope you have a lovely day today.”
Eeyore humphed and swished his tail in what he hoped was a careless sort of way. It was an “I don’t mind, really” sort of swish.
“It’s good you’ve arrived, Pooh,” said Rabbit importantly. “We’re Having a Discuption.”
“What is a dis…a discup-thing?” asked Pooh humbly, being a Bear of Very Little Brain.
“It’s where you all discups something together until you Reach a Deception,” announced Rabbit. “And what we’re discupsing is a what would have made a Better Zample.”
“Better than what?” asked Pooh.
“Better than Habit and Lord of the Things, of course,” answered Rabbit impatiently.
“Lord of what things?” asked Eeyore gloomily. “Probably in charge of all the good ones, only skipping things like sticks and thistles that nobody cares about. That’s usually the way it is.”
“Oh,” said Pooh, who still wasn’t sure. “Well I think hunny is always good for a Zample. And if you would all stop discupsing for a moment, I think I my pots of hunny are calling me. I just need a bit of quiet to hear them.” Pooh cupped his paw behind his ear so as to listen more closely.
“Well there it is,” said Rabbit, rubbing his ears. “Hunny. That’s it. Now, where do we find hunny? In Pooh Bear’s cupboard. And where is Pooh Bear’s cupboard? It’s in Pooh’s house right here in the Hundred Acre Wood. So there we have it. Thank you, Pooh.”
“You’re very welcome,” said Pooh politely. He was glad they finally had it, whatever it might be, but he hoped it would make everyone be quiet for a moment. They would talk just when he was listening for his hunny pots.
“Yes, yes,” said Owl, “The Hundred Acre Wood is a much better Zample than those other Things. The ones that someone is Lord of. Because as my third cousin Throckmorton once said, ‘it’s all about the timing,’ and the Hundred Acre Wood — along with all of us in it — was published in 1926, so we’re in the Public Domain now.”
“What’s the Public Domain?” asked Pooh.
Owl replied “It’s what we’re in now, Pooh. That means that now we can have more Discuptions, and go on new Adventures.”
“Oh,” said Pooh. “Not just the same old ones, then?”
“Not at all,” said Rabbit. “And that reminds me, I must hurry off to Organdize our Next Adventure.” Rabbit hurried off in the direction of his favorite carrot patch.
“Oh wasn’t that fun,” said Eeyore in a gloomy way. “All lah-de-dah. All adventuresome. All dashing about. All Heading Off in New Directions. Don’t mind about the donkey. He won’t mind a bit.”
“Adventures,” Eeyore said, “are like thistles. They’re all good for those who like them, but for those who don’t, they’re Prickly.” Having finished what he had to say, Eeyore swished his tail again and started to look for some fresh thistles.
It finally was quiet, and Pooh listened as hard as he could. “Yes,” he said finally, “my hunny pots are definitely calling me. Goodbye, Owl, I need to go see what they want. And I think,” he said, “that when I get home it will be just time for a Little Something.” Pooh stumped off toward his house.
“Remarkable,” said Owl from his perch on a low branch. “Evidently we have Discupsed and Reached a Deception. I shall have to ask my Great Aunt Esme if she has witnessed such a thing before.” And Owl flew away to find Great Aunt Esme.
That’s a bit of a fanciful way of saying that a great many works have entered the public domain in 2022, including Winnie-the-Pooh. But not including The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings, which were published about a decade or more later. I should have, as Rabbit pointed out, chosen a better Zample…that is, example.
This issue hasn’t gone at all as I expected. I was going to have Pooh explain that January 4 is the day the Finnish Declaration of Independence was recognized in 1918. And that today is also the day the NASA rover Spirit landed on Mars in 2004. And even that the world’s tallest building, the Burj Khalifa, opened on January 4, 2010. That’s what I was planning to do, along with having a small birthday party for Isaac Newton’s 379th and James Bond’s 122nd. Then Owl would have explained that no, it’s not that James Bond, we mean the zoologist who was an expert on birds of the Caribbean, not the one who’s been in the public domain for a few years in some places but not in the US. That’s was the plan. But as it turned out, a Bear of Very Little Brain is likely to forget everything you explain. Even if you go slowly and carefully. I should have talked to Piglet instead.
