Hi,
As you see, I decided to change the title of this weekly parenting newsletter from “Tips&Tricks” to “Insights”, because it dawned on me that this shouldn’t be about ways to trick your child into becoming what you want it to become, but about exploring ways in which your life, and your kids’, would evolve towards common growth. This is serious business, my dears.
As serious as children with less developed brains because of violent or aggressive parents. A study from the University of Montreal recently showed that repeatedly getting angry, hitting, shaking or yelling at children is linked with smaller brain structures in adolescence. "The implications go beyond changes in the brain. I think what's important is for parents and society to understand that the frequent use of harsh parenting practices can harm a child's development," said Suffren, the study's lead author. "We're talking about their social and emotional development, as well as their brain development."
Another study, this time from the University of Cambridge, shows how a home-based parenting program to prevent childhood behaviour problems, which very unusually focuses on children when they are still toddlers and, in some cases, just 12 months old, has proven highly successful during its first public health trial. The six-session programme involves providing carefully-prepared feedback to parents about how they can build on positive moments when playing and engaging with their child using video clips of everyday interactions, which are filmed by a health professional while visiting their home.
As you see, mental health is not to be disregarded, at any age. Especially under the current pandemic context which adds extra strain on families. A new US government report confirms what many moms and dads already know: Parents and kids are struggling mightily to cope with the stresses of distance learning. Children who received virtual instruction were less likely to exercise than kids in school (30% versus 63%), spend time outside (27% versus 58%), spend time with friends (70% versus 86%), or spend virtual time with friends (13% versus 24%). These kids also suffered from worse mental or emotional health (25% versus 16%), the study authors said. Parents need to be aware of potential emotional problems their child might have going forward. "If they know they have a child that's anxious, make extra efforts to have them on Zoom calls or have family members that they trust come over and have them interact with other children. If those things don't help, maybe seek professional help. Social anxiety is treatable. We have very good interventions,". Overall, virtual learning is tough on kids. Let me know your views in the comments’ section!
But not only school has moved online, unfortunately. Criminals and pedophiles are trying to groom and exploit young siblings as part of an emerging trend of online sexual abuse, experts have warned. The Internet Watch Foundation said victims in the UK ranged from 3-16 years, with some groomed to copy adult pornography. It found 511 examples involving siblings between September and December - roughly one in 30 instances of all "self-generated content" in that time. Campaigners say live-streaming services need to do more to protect children.
That’s an extra reason to be extra-careful with your kids online activities, and not only. Paying more attention to them will prove useful even with tantrums. Meltdowns in young children are a common yet complicated physiological response related to the brain’s threat detection system. Mid-freakout, it’s helpful for parents to understand what’s going on beneath the surface, then to mitigate the “threat” by establishing a sense of safety. According to R Douglas Fields, a neuroscientist and author of Why We Snap: Understanding the Rage Circuit in Your Brain, a temper tantrum involves two parts of the brain. The amygdala processes emotions such as fear and anger, while the hypothalamus partly controls unconscious functions such as heart rate and temperature. Think of the amygdala as the brain’s smoke detector and the hypothalamus as someone deciding whether to put gasoline or water on the fire – with hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. When your daughter suddenly starts wailing about sleeping alone in her bed at night, she’s probably not consciously being difficult – her amygdala detected a threat, and her hypothalamus caused her to snap. During the stress response, your child might experience a racing heartbeat, sweaty palms and tense muscles (or just an overwhelming urge to punch you). As much as you may want to reason with your writhing child, don’t expect her to listen. For one thing, the stress response can dampen a child’s already-limited capacity for self-control, a function generally associated with the prefrontal cortex, or PFC.
After becoming mothers, some women feel they don’t belong to themselves anymore (and that’s just one of the many “side-effects” of new motherhood). But hey, it gets worse: Women's Dreams Change After Childbirth. Motherhood rewires our brains and wrecks our sleep. Tending to a new baby all night long means new moms are less likely to complete what the Sleep Foundation calls a “balanced cycle through various sleep stages” — including Rapid Eye Movement, or REM sleep, which is when dreams tend to be the most prolific and intense. This means that women aren’t getting really high-quality, restorative sleep, even if they are able to piece together enough hours throughout the night. It also means their dreams are being affected in ways that aren’t fully understood.
But life isn’t at all that bad, in the end. Did you ever watch the Muppets Show? "Sesame Street" is introducing two new Muppets, a Black father and son, as part of an effort to help children understand racial literacy.
The two Muppets, Wes and Elijah, were introduced in a short video created by Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit educational organization behind the long-running show. Another video featuring Rosita, her mother and her friend celebrates speaking Spanish and shows the Muppets helping Rosita cope after a racist incident. This comes after Julia, the first character with autism, had been introduces some years ago.
And now for the final touch, should you make your own baby food or not? The decision to use store-bought food or make your own is a personal one. There are pros and cons to both options. Do you have the time and resources to make your own food at home? Fantastic, let's do it! Are you already overwhelmed (what new parent isn't?) or dealing with postpartum depression, and you can't fathom adding one more thing? No problem, store-bought is just as nutritious. Or how about a blend of both? Make the food when you have time, and have store-bought options in your pantry for when you don't. From a nutrition standpoint, the only important thing is that your baby is fed.
What me and my daughter Eva love to watch? Waffles and Mochi :) It features one of my favourite persons in the world, Michelle Obama <3
That’s it for today’s episode. I really hope I brought a smile on your face, a little joy in your life, and also valuable information to help you navigate this parenting sea :) If I did all of that, I’m happy :)
Thank you for subscribing and for sharing! Remember, my next childhood story goes out next Sunday! And, next Wednesday, some more Parenting Insight!
I started a Facebook Group called Past Tense - Childhood Stories for Kids and Grown Ups, which is free to join for everyone that subscribes to the newsletter! I think it will be a great place for sharing stories and parenting experiences! You can also like & follow my Facebook page, where I will be posting regular updates on projects, stories, giveaways etc.