Hey Foreign Bodies, I’ve been thinking about—or rather, forcing myself to think about—the big and small blessings in my life making these gloomy mornings a little easier to withstand, especially during a not-so-bright holiday season plagued with the potential for breakdowns.
Practicing gratitude has been shown to help well-functioning people be happier and prevent depression, but how impactful is it for those with mental illnesses? One study out of Berkeley found that writing gratitude letters tremendously helped college students with depression and anxiety already receiving psychological counseling. Researchers say that gratitude’s benefits take time, but the practice—whether private or public—can help us unshackle from toxic emotions. Remember: telling someone with symptoms of depression and anxiety to be grateful for what they have is never the move. It’s not a solution, but it could be a useful coping mechanism.
"It is good to be more grateful—it has intrinsic virtue and there's evidence that people who have gratitude as a general trait have a lower incidence of mental health problems and better relationships," psychologist David Cregg noted in a recent study on gratitude.
“The problem is when we try to turn gratefulness into a self-help tool. Gratitude can't fix everything.”
On my rougher mornings, on top of taking my antidepressants or texting my therapist, I try to think about my biggest blessings—the people, the creatures, this community, the space I hold for my grief and vulnerability. And the small ones, too. There’s my alarm ringtone, “Sunrise” by Norah Jones, which has, for several years, woken my dog and I up with an urge to get outside and take in some fresh air. I think about opening my fridge and finding non-expired Chobani vanilla greek yogurt (boring, but my favorite!) and that sigh of relief upon seeing my paintbrushes not soaking in murky paint water because I was responsible enough to clean them after use last night. Sometimes, when I feel I’ve lost all control, creating a playlist or a work of art, or just building something with my own two hands helps me regain an ounce of control. And that’s another blessing: a will to create on the better days.
What are the big and small blessings you try to hold onto when you’re having an especially bad day, week, month, year? Tell me in the comments, if you can.
Something that keeps me going is food and cooking. I always look forward to thinking up of new dishes to try out, cooking, and then of course, being able to eat them. I find cooking very therapeutic.
Hi Fiza, commenting for the first time. I think you've said it very well. I had a rough few days dealing with the two great infections of our time -- Covid and misinformation spread in the family. It made me extremely grateful to have one listening parent, who doesn't necessarily agree with me always but would never bow down to sketchy reporting and unverified sources of hate. He encouraged my child self to disregard prejudice and never imposed his biases. I am also grateful for my partner whose presence helps cool me down when cortisol levels fly and who joins me in appreciating good food and planning ahead. For being able to go on hikes and outdoors too as landscapes calm my physical and mental anxiety of being indoors and dealing with human vulnerabilities.
Welcome, Nandini! Misinformation has been tough to deal with in my extended family, too. I'm so glad you have a caring partner around and that you're able to enjoy the outdoors, especially when anxiety is piling up. Here's to more outdoor time, even if it means getting bundled up in some thick sweaters and coats!
I love this fiza! The big blessings I try to think of are my cat, my abuela, and how close we are to the canyons. Going on hikes has been very important for my mental and physical health this year after almost being hospitalized.
Something that keeps me going is food and cooking. I always look forward to thinking up of new dishes to try out, cooking, and then of course, being able to eat them. I find cooking very therapeutic.
I love that! Is cooking something you've always found comforting, or is it something you've especially picked up this year? (latter for me!)
I've always found it comforting, but more so especially this year.
Hi Fiza, commenting for the first time. I think you've said it very well. I had a rough few days dealing with the two great infections of our time -- Covid and misinformation spread in the family. It made me extremely grateful to have one listening parent, who doesn't necessarily agree with me always but would never bow down to sketchy reporting and unverified sources of hate. He encouraged my child self to disregard prejudice and never imposed his biases. I am also grateful for my partner whose presence helps cool me down when cortisol levels fly and who joins me in appreciating good food and planning ahead. For being able to go on hikes and outdoors too as landscapes calm my physical and mental anxiety of being indoors and dealing with human vulnerabilities.
Welcome, Nandini! Misinformation has been tough to deal with in my extended family, too. I'm so glad you have a caring partner around and that you're able to enjoy the outdoors, especially when anxiety is piling up. Here's to more outdoor time, even if it means getting bundled up in some thick sweaters and coats!
I love this fiza! The big blessings I try to think of are my cat, my abuela, and how close we are to the canyons. Going on hikes has been very important for my mental and physical health this year after almost being hospitalized.
<3 I'm so glad you're doing better, Laura.